If you are planning for your funeral well ahead, there are several things that you should consider to relieve your family and friends of the responsibilities that they should have when the time comes. Some people do not realize that it is possible to plan for their funeral in advance even while they are living their life. The benefits of planning ahead are many such as locking a price by paying in advance. You can plan everything from the arrangements of ceremonies, style of the funeral, etc. Planning ahead will make your wishes clear to your family members. The costs can be estimated and the arrangement for the payment can be done now or in the future. There will be no physical exams that are needed and you do not have to fill any questionnaires. You need not wait for returning any documents or getting any approvals from the authority.
You need to take some things into account before planning your funeral ahead. These are as follows.
- A contact list of those people who have to be notified about your death
- How the obituary should read or the points that have to be included
- Where the obituary or memorial information should appear
- The ideal cemetery lot details
- The preferred crematorium urn type or casket type
- The choice of sectional crypt or vault
- The preferred type of funeral service such as religious, military or non-denominational
- Speakers and potential eulogies
- Details of pailbearers, music, scripture, and other readings
- Flowers you like to have
- The churches or organizations that should benefit from the memorial donations that are made in your name
You should hand over a copy of your will to your estate executor. The funeral planning documents that are discovered in the safety deposit boxes at the time of estate settlement will not be of any use to the executor as your funeral would be over by then.
It is a profound event in the lives of people to lose a loved one. People express their sorrow in many ways such as outpouring the emotion and the grieving process is private. There are many ways in which you can reach out a grieving person and support the affected ones throughout the period. The ways can be verbal and non-verbal.
During the heightened emotions and levels of relationships, you might feel uncomfortable to talk about the death directly. This could be a difficult topic to reach conversationally. The openness that is presented to a person who is grieving creates a possibility to acknowledge and dialogue about the loss and their emotions. There are some suggestions to handle this talk and it includes addressing the loss, showing your concern, offering support, asking how the person feels and being ready to listen.
The grieving process varies from one person to another. Offering a hug or an ear to listen is a wonderful way to show that you are there for the person. You should acknowledge his or her feelings and let the person express freely. Refrain from the judgments and create a space to share freely. You can express your support for the person with a touch, hug, or eye contact.
The person who has experienced the loss of a loved one has to overcome the task of adjusting to his or her absence all through the life. From the initial arrangements to cleaning, cooking, financial arrangements as well as documentation, there can be many tedious tasks to handle. You need to take the time to think about the various things that you can do to support the already grieving person. In case you are going to a store, ask what the person needs. When preparing dinner, give the person a meal as a support. Contact the person on a regular basis and establish a consistency in his or her life.
There is a belief that having a funeral is to draw attention to one’s self and make it the center of attention. If there is no funeral, then people believe that others are saved from grieving. There is a thought that death is a private thing and it affects only the deceased’s family. However, there is a reason that all the cultures that are practiced across the world have created different rituals surrounding death. It is for the same reason that all the cultures have created rituals for birth, marriage, etc. The rituals signify that the family unit has modified and the community will gather to support the members of the family.
If there is no funeral service, the unresolved grief will have a greater impact than the feeling of being depressed. It has been related to obesity, substance abuse, and other types of mental disorders. Having a service is not the magic elixir to get through the grief, but it is a healthy start. Having a formal time to gather and support the deceased’s family will quicken the processing of the funeral and help in healing them. People have an innate requirement to support one another. Denying a formal time to do this will not stop them from discussing about the death. But, the conversation will be delayed and the healing process with be delayed.
However, many people neglect the most significant part of the funeral that is the ritual that surrounds it. The pain of grief that the loved ones experience is unavoidable and it is assailable only via direct confrontation. There are no shortcuts and no coddling will make it vanish. The funeral rituals are framed to help them recover from the grief event. The funerals are for those who are living and not for the dead. Thousands of years of consciousness have taught us about being truly helpful after a death event.